P.C. Shannon

Last time, I said that I had clear vision of my future. I want to lay that out now, as much for my benefit as anyone else’s. I want to work in systems biology. I’m really interested in the range of interactions within a cell, and I want to contribute to applying results from high-throughput studies, such as microarray analysis, to real biological problems, primarily cancer and other diseases.

Wow, this has really turned into a personal mission statement. I’ve also realized that while I’m not currently working on anything that could even loosely be termed “systems biology,” I am studying cellular interactions, so at least I’m kinda on course.

Wikipedia is telling me there’s something called “computational systems biology,” which nominally sounds like it’s right up my alley. But when it comes down to it, I’m much more interested in applications than in pure research. So if I need to develop new algorithms, then that’s great, but if I just need to process data, then so be that’s great, too, so long as my efforts are contributing meaningfully to the research.

I’m also interested in synthetic biology, but there are two problems with pursuing this area immediately. One is that it’s still a very bench-oriented enterprise. I don’t think we’ll ever get away from that as there are just too many random factors to handle computationally. Second and more significant, it’s still a very academic discipline, and I don’t want to be an academic. I think that systems biology now will pave the way for me to enter synthetic biology later, when it becomes a field in which biotech and pharmaceutical companies are interested.

I’m very interested in working at Genentech. The biotech company was just named as the best place to work by Fortune and as one of the top twenty smartest companies by Baseline. The Fortune article sacred me off a little bit, just because I wasn’t sure if I had the passion. But after writing this little “personal mission statement”—as touchy-feely as that sounds—I’ve found that I do.

Sometimes I have a very hard time getting motivated about my research. I don’t have any problem doing homework for my classes, and once I get into my research, it’s fine. It’s just sometimes I can’t seem to find the energy to get started. I had thought that maybe this was a sign that I’d perhaps made a bad decision somewhere along the line, but I realized the other day that the source of my anxiety is not my research, it’s my career after grad school.

For a long time, I didn’t have a clear vision of what I want to do after graduation and after my post-doc. I do now. But it’s still not always clear to me how to get from here to there. Part of the problem is that I feel like a career in science doesn’t follow a clear progression. While that can be true of any job, I feel like it happens far more often than not in science careers. Or maybe I just feel like things never work out for me the way I want them to.

Really, I need to be doing everything I can now to stack the deck in my favor. I know where I want to be in two years (when I’m doing my post-doc) and in four (or whenever the “real” job starts). So I need to make sure that the path I’m on now gives me the best chance to make that vision a reality.

I’ve started doing some of that. My in-laws provided me with a contact at GlaxoSmithKilne, who provided me with another. I’ve also been in touch with a researcher at Genentech. All three have been very helpful. However, I need to do some more research and make more contacts.

I think that, at least until I get established, I will always have some anxiety about my career. Doing this sort of due diligence will take some effort and it will take me out of my comfort zone, but it will be worth it, especially as it will help me achieve my goal. Certainly, I feel more confident now about my career than I have in a long time.

Ok, I don’t actually hate science, but I certainly feel that way sometimes when doing experiments. Here’s an example. In my system, I have some RNA (an aptamer, in fact) that has been labeled with a fluorescent dye. I also have a shorter piece of DNA that is complimentary to the aptamer, so it will bind to the aptamer. The DNA is labeled with a quencher that prevents the dye from emitting its signal. Basically, when the DNA is present, the aptamer doesn’t glow, and when the DNA is absent, it does glow.

At least, that’s the way it should work. In some of my experiments, the more DNA I added, the brighter the aptamer glowed. This is the exact opposite of what should happen. It’s like the TV turning off when you press the on switch, only you can’t blame it on faulty wiring. Maybe it’s more like water flowing uphill, since these are basic physical properties of matter we’re talking about.

Nonetheless, it’s very frustrating. Fortunately, that project was canceled recently, due in part to the confounding results I was getting.

I’ve been having some trouble getting back on track with my other projects. I’m not sure why, exactly. Sometimes simply having to do something makes it unappealing, no matter how interesting it might be if it weren’t a requirement.

But in the last few days, I’ve felt really on top of things. I’ve been very productive. I worked on my mountain bike and have gone on a few short rides. I’ve taken care of various projects around the house. I’ve even made some progress on my main research project. Hopefully, I can keep things on track and maintain my forward momentum.

Plus, I always have Piled Higher and Deeper to console me in any event.